Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
