problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
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Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
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This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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