it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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