so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
