me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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