yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
