Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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