You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
