Screwed.edu
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize