glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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