I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize