If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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