she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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