I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
