can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
