You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
now i know why i became what i already was.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
