There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
