So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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