he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize