your parents love me but you hate me
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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