ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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