I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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