Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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