I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
