At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize