yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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