dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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