is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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