Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
