you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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