on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
