Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize