Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
