i think i have herpe
just one?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
