the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
