Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
