part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
