...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize