And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
