I'm going to jail i love you
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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