I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
