k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize