I met the friendliest cop last night
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
