You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
3pm strippers are depressing
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
