I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
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Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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