we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
