Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
