The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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