Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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