that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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