so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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