it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
