She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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