when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
