On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize