you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
as a side note pls kill me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize