dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
