I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
nutella sex= disaster
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
