dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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