don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
These tits shall not be calmed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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