Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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