so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
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she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
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You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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